Monday, August 24, 2009

Debbie Downer

Ever have one of those times (more than just 1 day) where you are down. Better yet, depressed. That's how I feel and it's terrible. I've been so depressed and just running on auto pilot. I miss Chris so much it's killing me! To top everything off, Jon-Erik has been sick these past few days and he's been a terror. He is starting to not want to share and acts like a little girl that I babysit and it's so frustrating. I put so much time and effort into trying to make him a good boy and in no way do I expect perfection out of him but he is starting to follow what she does and it's not good. Our stairs have a metal railing at the edge and about 3 inches of stairs stick out. He saw the little girl hold the railing and climb the outer part of the stairs (she got a time out) and now he keeps trying to do it. The huge difference is he is only 1 and she is 3. It really makes me reconsider babysitting her since she is always acting up and he's starting to copy her. Anyway, I am now sick as well and everyone I know or hang out with is busy and not picking up their phones and I have no one to talk to. I don't even really want to talk to anyone about how I feel because I don't want them to think I'm just some depressing person. I'm pretty sure I just think too much into things and I know that everything will be fine in the end. I just can't wait to be back with Chris again. I can't wait to move into our house and be a FAMILY again! I left this town a long time ago thinking I was never coming back and I now remember why I wanted out in the first place. I have 1 friend left here. Everyone else just disappeared after I had a baby. I can't seem to understand how that works? A child is the most beautiful, amazing gift and I would be up my friends butt if they had a baby. How can you just forget about your friend at the most important time in their life?