Thursday, September 23, 2010

It's been awhile..

So much has been going on in my life. My mind has been running non-stop and I feel bad even thinking about overloading anyone with all these bricks. My life is going as good as can be right now. Actually, it's going better than I expected it to go. If you're ready, read on.

About 2 months ago, I got woken up at 6AM to a call from my mom. My dad apparently had a heart attack and had 50% chance of survival. ::gasps for air:: I can barely type this without wanted to burst out in tears. Within a week, a cousin of mine that I hadn't talked to in years was driving me back to New Jersey. Unfortunately, my father wasn't about to wake from his coma because he was over 90% brain damaged. We all made the decision to follow his wishes and took him off life support. Within a week, he was gone. This kind of stuff doesn't happen to me. This only happens to people I know or know of! People have heart attacks ALL THE TIME! This was my dad's first heart attack. I feel sick when I think about him. There is a piece of me that is now missing and I want it back. I've never felt so helpless. For awhile, I just lost myself. I wasn't being the mother I was supposed to be and was hating myself for it. Finally, I decided enough was enough and I stopped going out at night and pulled myself together. After a month and a half in New Jersey I am finally back with Chris in Alabama.

Chris got a new job working at a steel plant. [I think that's what it is] The pay is good but the hours he is putting in right now are brutal. I've felt more like a single mom lately. Ever since I left to Jersey, I've been on my own with JE. I don't mind at all since we've spent many months apart in the past. I just can't wait for things to come together and his schedule to be normal.

On a happier note, here are a few positive things that have been going on:

Jon-Erik turned 2 on July 2nd and has been fully potty trained for about 6 months now. He rode his bike using the pedals for the first time yesterday! I am so proud of the little boy he is becoming. He is such a smart kid but doesn't show it! I don't even bother telling people when he is capable of saying/doing anymore because he won't do it infront of anyone but me and a select few.

Chris and I are TTC and I'm hoping to have another summer baby. I started taking prenatals today since I heard that helps with the whole process.

Anyways, I'll update later. I'm going to see if I can find the cord to upload pictures to this computer!

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